essentially....
we can work to improve.... correct things we don´t like...
we can aspire to become better...
but we can´t change who we are.
I want to believe people are good. But it is much more than wanting. It is in me. Part of my blue print. I can be proven wrong.... and I still believe in it. THAT is what makes me ME.
I can try and paint commercial, something pretty and nice, much to the licking of everybody. But somewhere, along the road... something I can´t control happens and the project gets messy... CHAOS arrives, and I ,
wake up, smile, and follow. IT is real, it is me.
"But you have talent" - they say.. "you can create pretty... you can make money !!!!" why not try????
Believe me, "I HAVE"....
and would definitely not mind having a bank account that does not bark at me every time I look in its direction.....
BUT ... I just can´t. I AM, what I AM.
sometimes... the story for my blog unfolds as I paint....
mostly it starts in the shape of a question....
today... as I was playfully messing up my blank canvas (this time no intention at creating pretty - just have fun!)
I had in mind i wanted a Minotaur.
My mind grabbed from the music playing in the background the words "you can´t change who you are!"
Whenever this happens... I mean, that I am pulled away from my trance on to something else... I ask myself "WHY?" What has the fact of us not being able to change who we are, got to do with my Minotaur?
Four days I have played and fooled around with my piece... figures have slowly emerged...
the minotaur (1)- much smaller than I had anticipated, bowing... lifting his top hat in reverence,
Chapeu!!!!!
dancing happily... innocent.. on a field of Diamonds...
the small but so important pearls of life... scattered around, here and there... invisible to those who are not aware.
3) A naked woman bathing in the sun... throwing away the towel that has been covering her... unafraid to let the warmth of the world caress her skin.... unafraid to be... HERSELF! Unravelling the key... to a happy life. Her Life.
4) A painter, me... with the silhouette of a child on the rim of his artsy beret... supporting a lost feminine soul 5) (who merges into the Minotaur)
At first, when I heard that we can´t change who we are....
I did not like the feeling the statement gave me.
BUT ... I think I understand now.
because it is not about changing who we are - for the better...
But unveiling who we really are!
Finding ourselves.... and treasuring the REAL us.
THAT is why the Minotaur bows...
Strong, powerful, mystical....
and so proud of this weak, introverted, shy, afraid soul
Who dares to unveil herself....
and rejoice in what she is.
Really show her true colours.
We can not change who we are... what we should focus on is changing who we are not! When pondering on ourselves we might find out that some of the things we consider "weaknesses" are actually what makes us beautiful....
these weaknesses we must work on to make them our strengths!
and then there are things about us we really don´t like....
the ones I believe are not really us... but inlearnt methods of adapting to life.
These are the ones to be changed!
A good week behind...
and so....
I enjoy my morning with a fresh start.... wondering where it will lead me!
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