the climb

I like listening to music...
      sometimes it is the rhythm that takes me...
           then there are the lyrics...
One particular song I love is "the climb" by Miley Cyrus.

Its not about whats on the other side,
                                                                  its the climb.

                                                    Our minds have a very strong tendency
                                                     to always believe the grass is greener
                                                      on the other side.

I can never stress enough to my pupils the importance of enjoying the ride.
 They tend to start the project with a vision (if and when I am lucky). This is important. To have a goal.
However, I truly believe that in art, as in life... I would have to agree with Miley: you will reach your goal if you really desire it... but it is crucial to make the most of the trip that leads to it. To be patient. To be open to all that happens on the way.

       We tend however... to focus so much on arriving... and what comes next... that we miss the joys of the path, and of life.

An art piece, as well as a life, is... for me, the sum of many a joyful moment... because in the end - fortunately,we tend to forget the rough and tough... and keep the sparkling vivid. So... when the Reaper comes knocking on our door... all we will have left to take with us... is a bag full of experiences and moments of love and joy.

   I love the notion of an Art piece being the balanced sum of many parts... like a continent, like for instance Europe. Each country with its own flavour and spice... each one with its traditions and culture. Very independent... yet all part of the whole. This is the way I see the artwork... a puzzle put together in different sessions... each one containing a fraction of the artists life at that given moment... each one containing the artists vision of that day and moment... his experience... slowly woven together to fit the whole... the original idea. There will be bright and shiny pieces, other dim and dull, sharp and bold efforts when a strong statement has been made,,, soft and mild ones when poetically easing around.
             Each part contributing to the beauty of the neighbour, and thus to the whole.

                                                  what makes me want to touch this bench
                                                  is the life printed on its surface, not its
                                                   original design,.

 There is something truly beautiful about a child at play, something to learn from.

                                         the original idea is watering... but as life offers wonderful
                                         events, the child enjoys
                                                   carrying the watering can
                                        obviously planning to use it, at some point or another...
                                        yet missing nothing along "the climb" =D

Curiosity, no second guessing yourself and a play full attitude.

                                         The keys that ignite experience and discovery.

                                       
                                         "Dulcinea"... that's what we named her.
                                          Somewhere in the middle of the desert of Atacama,

in the north of Chile, a police officer stopped us. We knew we could not have been driving too fast, cause her top speed was 75km / h. So we asked what the problem was. The officer explained the naked girl on the back of the car was a risk in traffic - people might loose focus on driving! We looked around and could only see sand. Claudio asked him if he did not think it would be a pity to paint over her... and the officer agreed. So we agreed a bikini would do just fine, and proceeded with our journey.

Years later I would find myself in a similar situation, this time in Europe.

                                       
                                         This at a subcontracting fair in Tampere.

Its funny where women have taken me! As a young starting artist my father told me I might want to reconsider "what" I was painting. He had accepted the fact I would not become a diplomat or an economist... but wanted me to have a minimal chance of succeeding. " Painting naked women is not gonna take you anywhere!" (as opposed to landscapes, sailing ships or horses).
       
Well, I said... I am gonna paint them till they take me.

                                         A goal,
                                          a target
                                         ... and many adventures along the climb.

                                         My women gave me a profession as a teacher.
                                         One I have truly loved.

Together with many a colourful experience that make for the vibrant parts of what is my "LIFE".
Which is why, at the end of the day... I can´t help but stressing the importance of the climb, and the fact of never forgetting that

                                                "the beauty of the whole resides in the vitality
                                                                        of the parts
                                                   - and how these relate to each other!"

                       
                                                                               =D

You paint yourself - Finland 3: the sky is the limit

                                                  the thing with life is...
               you should never try to mold it to your expectancies....
                                                  never take it for granted
                 and be totally open for change and surprises.

At times you will feel like you are soaring straight through unclouded skies....
                  a straight white line with purpose and destination....
                                      smoothly. Fast. Young and crazy. Powerful.

I guess that is why I like Dance so much. You get into a rhythm, you start swaying... letting yourself move to its beat... and when the music suddenly changes... you change your step without faltering...
       in a split of a second, the mood, the style, the whole thing has changes... but the flow hasn´t... and if your sensibility and perception where unhindered, neither has your dance. 

Its the big picture we are unaware of as we cruise... we only get to understand life, as life... later... looking back at things, seeing how one relates to the other... seeing what change of events finally leed to. The whole, as opposed to the parts. The bue sky as well as the clouds that are a part of it.

    I,
       was once again at the cruising stage... the white line on the blue sky, enjoying Finland, confident... with friends. Over where the white cold clouds of my first winter. Looking at my diary I see, of course... ups and downs... doubt, confusement .... worries... but in the overall they are swept away by wonder, excitement.. and self-confidence.
                                                    I was savouring the joys of life. =D

                                                        a sketch from my book during my
                                                        travels in south America depicts
                                                perfectly what I was feeling at this moment (since it was drawn many years later it very well proves that SAVOURING life has always been one of my hobbies =D Funny thing is, though, that when it was drawn, I had been a whole week without money and therefore very little food... I was in Argentina, looking at a restaurant / bar where people sat and savoured good healthy courses... oftentimes leaving on the plate half what they had got. In my mind I imagined the food orgy I was very much in need of =D

  Anyway, in Finland at this point there was no scarcity,  
                                                       I was truly rocking

                                       
                                          and rolling =D

                                       
                                         Life was a blast, but it - or should I say I, did have SOME
                                        purpose.
Amidst all the partying and fun, I made sure that my grades dindn´t falter... I relentlessly continued drawing and searching for beauty, I did a lot of sport and often went to the movies =D
           After dotting a million pages... long and assiduous job... I decided there must be a better way to achieve the perfect smooth surfaces I was aiming for.... and bought myself an airbrush.

                                       
                                         With time and a lot of practice I slowly approached my vision,
                                         and goal.
I am quite sure, that in the bliss of the tremendous moments I was having, I might have made myself an ass on more than one occasion... THAT is the beauty of being young, THAT is the beauty of being recklessly happy. You just do, without hesitation or second guessing.

                                         Despite this fact...
                                                    without much effort, I did get my hat...

  which I believe was, in many ways a tremendous victory ... considering how difficult it actually was for me to move from spain in the early 80´s... and the fact that I had to study in a language that was certainly not my mother tongue - despite it having been the tongue my mother spoke =D                                                         

                                                          
 There is something strange, however,  about achieving goals...

Its like... the journey is over...
                             the path comes to an end and suddenly you are at a crossroad... unable to continue savouring the joy of auto-pilot... of movement without effort... of rolling down a grassy hill and just letting go, enjoying the moment. You stand still.
   in truth, your life is still rolling... but your mind thinks its not.
                        You feel you have to think... take control... figure out the next step.

                                                    
                                                     Many years later, I would learn in Brazil
                                                    how joyful it is not to have a destination,
                                                    or a plan. just sit under a palm tree and let
                                                   life unfold.

At this stage of my wandering though... I felt I quickly needed a next goal.

Not being too sure of where I wanted to go with my life... I decided it was the perfect moment to get my compulsory army training done with...
         I don´t know if I had seen too many movies - I believe "officer and a gentleman" did cause some impact on me.
    I don´t know if it was the article on the news stating I was a gentleman (  see -you paint yourself, finland, 2 "time of hooligans is over")... 
   but I had a strong feeling my next step was to become an officer.

I was also tired of being Paajanen (a true Finish name) without speaking Finish! =D, which is why I applied to be posted at a Finish speaking garrison - Santahamina.

   Craziest thing one can do is go to the army for a language course!

         Young, reckless and on a winning lucky feeling... I jumped into this new adventure, making sure I was in the front row! =D =D =D

You paint yourself - Finland 2 ... my name is shirt.

                                                             Times had changed... school
                                                             started

                         and I tried to appear as if life was normal. Cool, easy going exterior as i entered my class and found myself a place. I had turned into a shirt... a clean good brand shirt that covered my frightened, lonely and bewildered self. I had no name.

    IT did not take long before I noticed that everybody already had their group, their own niche... friends they related to since they were 5. Mine were probably at the beach, many thousands of kilometres away. I pondered on things I had talked about with my pals before leaving Barcelona.... "hey, cheer up... they said... it will be fine... they say Finland is full of beautiful blue eyed blonde's... and they go naked into the sauna with the guys!!!!!then there are orgies where...."
   Some of the things I would find out never happened - at least to me... maybe they were part of history... might have been something that happened sometime... and then became overblown out of proportion as one mouth whispered it into another ear... i don´t know... I guess it is how mythology is born. I DO know, that as I reflected on my somber future looking at everybody happy in the settled niches... I suddenly saw walking into the classroom, a bit late and very gaily... my "brand new ihanuus" - though at the time I would probably not have described her using these exact words... since I spoke no Finish! =)
   A true beautiful blue eyed blond angel! Maria was her name... Needles to say, she became the focus of my attention for the whole of that day, and many more to come.

                                                                 Colourful from the
                                                                 instant I saw her waltz into my life

maria brightened every morning my spirit as I jumped on my bike headed for school. And she did this even though the days got colder, and colder... and darker... till i was pedalling in the middle of the night on icy roads. Winter had come... my first one... but I had my northern star!

   With the coming of spring, one fine afternoon, someone knocked at the door... I was in my room and my mother came to tell me it was for me. ME???????? In a state of total shock I went to see who might be asking for me...

                                         We came to see would you care to go out for a bike
                                          ride with us! ????????+ häh???? This can´t be happening....

But it was! My winter days were over! I had finally found my friends! - or, I guess I would have to say... they had found me.

Kimmen was to become my second soul mentor. With him we did everything and anything...but mostly we partied. "Bat out of Hell"(meatloaf) and "Go your own way"(fleetwood mac) being our battle songs, later to be followed by Springsteen and my first Nordic singer / song writer Björn Skifs.
I have come to find out with time and travel that once you start liking the music a country has to offer... and understanding its jokes... you are on the way to becoming a little part of their culture, you are settling down =D

                                                    As i look into what I had become I
                                                    truly thank God and kimmen for a

much needed Bat out of hell in my life =D
    Some things change, others tend to stay basically the same.
 

                                         Things I kept from my time in Spain, as I
                                          rocked through high school, were keeping a journal,

drawing and football. AH! and movies.
 Entries in my diary show I was quite critical of myself in most aspects   =O

                                         A Christmas card from my artistically gifted bro shows
                                        his version of what was happening to me. Can´t say if
                                        he meant artistically or vitally... or simply both  =D

However it may be, long gone were the times of gray...
    I had integrated to the Nordic world...
                                      keeping some of my Latin origins (I suddenly started to appreciate Julio Iglesias =)
       and was now part of a winning team!

                                       

                                        
                        Thus moving from being just another new brand shirt without a name...
                                                     to JOHN SHIRT!  =D =D =D

                                         Officially declared a gentleman...

                                               despite what my TOM BROWN thought!  =D =D =D

lets not forget... we are alive

                                                   We go from dark... to light
                                                                        and viceversa.

In painting but as well in life. Without the dark´s, the lights can´t shine. Its a process... and once you come to understand it... you will not panic when the dark is at its darkest...
                or when the light shines so bright you have to squint.

                                                        Life looks a bit like this to me

                                                        with echelons you arrive to
                                                            climbing... through hard work,
through CHANGE.

   Every plateau is a resting place, time to recover from the hardships... time to enjoy. Sometimes you stay on the plateu longer... sometimes the climb to the next one is shorter.What is important is that we should learn to enjoy and not forget... its a wonder we are alive... its a gift. That is why, at home, in my studio... I have written all over the place things like "live your life like it matters" and "it is a beautiful day"....
                              To remind me =D

 It is my belief that for every plateau you find a mentor... someone special to help you develop your soul and be ready for the next climb - which usually finds you unprepared ( consciously) and unwilling.

                                         Echelons and mentors... 3 of mine mentioned so far
                                         Ricardo Bofill    Rudy Ibarra    Claudio Contento   


I read a book about three levels we must take care of, all with the same value, all crucial for a healthy soul. The physical, the mental and the spiritual.
   Upon reading this one of the interpretations I created for myself was that taken from the point of view of our mind... it could be broken down to doing, thinking (logic) and relying on intuition.

My soul brother Rudy used to say that when you are lost, broken down, feeling helpless... concentrate on the basics. Like for instance walking. A simple thing you know you can do... a simple thing that gets you going. Years ago after getting my heart got shattered I took up his advice and went to Chile... with the sole purpose of walking it from one end to the other (I believe the country has a coastline of close to 4000km). At some point I bought a car... but the healing had already started. This would be the DOING. In eastern philosophy I guess you would call it focusing on the moment. Logic and Intuition are put aside in a way... or then they are working together simply by the fact that you are not concentrating on anyone of them particularly.

                                          a fav sketch of mine, Suvi walking the dog in
                                          winter with Inda inside... it simply makes me
                                           H  A  P  P  Y  > and glad to be alive!

Thinking, LOGIC... is fundamental but also a bit dangerous... there is the saying that simple minds have an easier life, and I agree with that. Of course we can argue that do we really want a life that is so easy? The reason I find thinking dangerous is that it is based on interpretation that we assume to be THE TRUTH. And, it is also VERY concentrated on the EGO - ME. We revolve things in our head, turning them, spinning them into a story, and then we go on to believe in them =D It is very difficult for a thinking being to keep an open mind and be tolerant - at least in my experience.

                                                     A mother thinking about everything
                                                     her child has ahead.

Intuition, gut feeling, the heart. You KNOW what to do before you start thinking.My advice, for anyone that wants to be creative... would be to HAVE FUN! I think... and have noticed... that painting and LIFe are very much the same... in many a way. The most important being that if you set out to create a masterpiece, if you take the process too seriously... you don´t get anywhere. When you are having fun you are not afraid of mistakes, you rely on savouring the moment... you simply are alive. The joy inside you is transmitted to your whereabouts, to your piece... to everyone around you... and they want to participate, they feel a need to join. Laughter creates Laughter. =D

                                              "A new trip... sailing over ostrobothnia"
                                              INDA, Suvi and me

Three planes, a bunch of philosophy...
       when all it takes,
              is to lie down, enjoy the sun... and listen to Joshua Radin singing

                                      B E A U T I F U L L   D A Y  <3

You paint yourself - Finland (1 cold start)

 Diamonds on the soles of my shoes...
    That's the way Life had treated me up to sixteen
         (and continued doing also after - only differently )...

                                                    In the early 80´s we moved to Finland.

It is difficult when you are sixteen to understand that change is good... important for the soul to develop.. hell, its actually not easy to understand at any age at all! - especially when YOU are the one going through it.
   I believe the hardest for me was losing my friends. I know, I know... NOW...
                i did not lose them.
But at the time it sure felt like I had. One thing you learn when you become a traveller, is that whilst things are different and changing for you... everything remains mostly the same for the people you have left behind. They have the same routines, the same environment... they have their group. One is missing... but they can compensate that with the others. The traveller has no such thing. The traveller feels alone... and in need of the warmth he has left behind - at least in the first life turning trips.

Back in those days there were no computers, no skype... no whats up... we had the mail box...
     and mine was always empty    =O
Or almost always so... I wish I could describe the joy of getting a letter back in those days. I would run to my room, read and re-read them... feeling warmth and joy for weeks to come. I would answer the same night... pages and pages - IF, I recall correctly... and mail them early next day.
    And then... months of EMPTY.

It did not actually take long before I was offered a new group of friends... but it did feel like an eternity before they turned colourful.

The change from a Latin culture to a Nordic one is shocking. something like Olaf the Viking meeting Picasso (In fact, in Spain I had often carried nicknames like "the viking"... "ice man" and such... and in Finland... much to my surprise... i became Picasso!!!!
   Actually... it was Pablo... I liked to assume it referred to the grand master of ARTS!

   I felt alone.  

My first summer was Ok... in a way an extension of what I had been having all through my childhood. "Pelle-bo", our summer place a Karjaloja... sauna... warmth...the lake and my grandmother.

                                         But with the coming of autumn...

Came the beginning of school year... and with it, slowly
                                   light started fading into darkness.'

  

                                                   
 In a great song Paul Simon sings: Sony sits by his window
                                                          and thinks to himself
                                                          how its strange that some rooms
                                                          are like cages ...
                                                         Sony´s yearbook from high school
                                                         is down from his shelf
                                                         and he idly combs through the pages....
In my case my room was my sanctuary, the world was my cage.
   And it was not idly I combed through the pages of my yearbook... I sat for hours, looked at the pics, touched them with my fingers... trying desperately to get in... go back.
They say what does not kill
                                                     you makes you stronger...

      if that is so... I had probably just started my process of becoming CONAN the barbarian.

I started carving

I started carving by chance...
                  and need...
                        and through a white LIE =D

It was the fourth of my "Soul MENTORS" (Claudio Contento) who forced me to it - and at the time I was very upset with him (as we usually are, when forced to change!). I had been living on his land, through his grace and support, for four years - when he decided he did not want me there no more.

                                         My hut

I had been living a VERY bohemian life, ... enjoying every day (and night) as it came...
                     trusting life would take care of me (it actually always has =)

                                                  
                                                    And now, after 4 years of sun, moon
                                                                          and fun
                        I was suddenly facing a serious problem... nowhere to stay... nowhere to go.

So I did what I thought was best at the time... went to a local bar for a beer and good food - thinking probably I better get ready for the ordeal to come =D.

    At the time... I was living in a little fisherman village by the sea... I had become the local "crazy" (but loved) artist... and so my artwork was all over the place - also the restaurant I was sitting at. So it happened I overheard whilst sipping my beer a man talking to the owner... he was praising the quality of the paintings and their vitality... and asking where to find the hand responsible the brushwork. "Harry" (the owner)... pointed at my table and sent him over. He introduced himself as Mr. Lineu Borges de Macedo, architect from Curitiba, and sat himself down at my table. He said he was amazed to find such a talent lost in a little fisherman village in the middle of nowhere... and wondered weather I would care to take him to my ateljé to show him some more of my work.

    This we did... and as he contemplated my paintings... in my rustic hut... he told me had been looking for years for somebody to carve the main door to his house... he wondered if I could do this.
I said ... YES! - as flicker of light started shining on my prospects for the future =D

                                                  "Have you ever carved before?" he asked...

The truth be told... I had never done it before in my life... in fact... I did not even know what a chisel looked like!          I saw the light getting weaker and decided it was time to use a WHITE lie ( I have always been very much supportive of speaking only the truth, but my Mum had explained to me that sometimes, if it is for the good of all, there is such a thing as a white lie to be used!).

                               "OH yes... we had a LOT of carving in my art school!!!!" I answered.

Sometimes Life brings you unsuspected turns... and if you are awake, and ready... you don´t miss them. My little white lie was the key opening doors for my future... a place to stay, a place to eat and sleep... and also a new way to express myself. (You will get to know more about my trip to Curitiba when the time comes in my essays on "you paint yourself")... needless to say I did carve his door and thus started a whole new episode in my life =D

                                                                           I have never
                                                                      been good
                                                                            with TIME.
But I roughly estimate this happened in the early 90´s.

    It was not until 6 years later, in a different country... a totally different setting... that I found my new Spiritual Mentor (5th one on the line I have been blessed with) =D. It happened in Ostrobothnia, Finland... once again, in a little village lost in the middle of nowhere. Oiva Kentta took me as apprentice - despite my lack of carpentry know-how... trusting he would be able to teach me how to use a chisel in the same way I used my pen.

 
 I believe he did this quite successfully, despite the goal not having been achieved yet - but this I know to be something now purely depending only on me!
                                     

...I started carving again.
     Last Friday, after a break of probably one year... I decided it was time to get carving again. Funny how this time, as compared to my first experience in Curitiba, I was a bit afraid. With close to 20 years of experience behind my back, hours and hours of practice... weeks and weeks of teaching... I was wavering  =O.      I guess that is one of the things age does to us.
 Another one is, that this time I had to use glasses! =D

     When reflecting on the things I did in my adventures of youth, it is no wonder sense tells me now to be a bit more careful. But,through my art practice of everyday... I have learnt it is utterly important to embrace the thought of "come on, we are just playing!!!! what is there to loose!? =D  LIFE IS FUN.
       So... I started.

My piece is going to be about the joy of creating.

                                         Thus... I grab my chisel
                                         and think:
    
                                                     "MAY the 4th be with me!!!!!! <3 <3 <3